When Family Comes Into Town: How to Stay Grounded in the Chaos

I'm standing in the laundry room with clothes all over the floor, so tired I can barely stand up. I had forgotten to wash my son's uniforms, both for school and basketball. I had spent all night, up with a migraine headache and whatever my perimenopausal body could throw at me. "Tomorrow, they'll all be here and I am SO not ready," I growled at myself as I pulled out "old stinky laundry from the dryer. UGHHHhhh. This is going to be a fun week. So Thanksgiving was in here and I had tried to get it all perfectly planned. But this laundry was the death nell to my peace of mind. I had decorated with the fabric turkey I made myself, the autumn arrangements, towels and throw pillows were all in their correct rooms. But the practical things, like the laundry had been forgotten.

I thought, "WHY DO I MAKE THIS SO HARD ON MYSELF??"

The beloved gathering of friends and family around the table for a special holiday or event is always important. We look forward to being together, catching up, and sharing old and new memories. But, it also brings challenges. Food likes and dislikes, issues with sleeping arrangements, mobility struggles for guests or any such issues can cause a strain on us and put a negative spin on the special event. Even if it's just your immediate family, the people you love most can also be the ones who disrupt your rhythm the fastest—especially when they show up hungry, loud, and ready for your full attention. Here’s how to stay well, even when the house is full.

1. Start Your Day in Quiet

Even 10 minutes of quiet before the house wakes can help you reset emotionally and spiritually. What makes you begin your day with calm and order? Is it a cup of tea, prayer, or a quick devotional? Or is it listing the things you are grateful for? These practices can anchor your day in peace and a midday reset is sometimes in order to keep the day in a positive direction. Find 2 or 3 things that make your heart peaceful so you can begin your day in a way that will bring you to the completion of your day with a smile and a contented heart.

2. Plan Your Meals First

No healthy, nutritional meal comes without preparation. Don't fall into the pattern of grazing on what you’re making for others. Plan a few days in advance to get fresh foods that will last until you have time and energy to prepare them. Then enjoy the process, knowing this meal is not just food, but it is a way that you are showing your love and devotion to your loved ones. Even if they don't understand the efforts you exerted in it all, enjoy the fact that you know their bodies will appreciate it, even if their taste buds wanted chicken nuggets and fries. Make sure to remember yourself and set aside nourishing options to help you stay on track in your health journey—protein shakes, prepped veggies, or a quiet corner meal before the crowd hits. Or if there's little time, choose the healthiest option that you can pick up from a local restaurant that will work for fun and easy leftovers.

3. Say Yes to Help

You aren't helping when you don't let others help. Encourage people to pitch in, where they are capable. I have seen many charts that suggest chores in the household for ages from 2 years old and up. Would I let my 2 year-old handle my crystal? Well, that's a HARD NO. However, a 2 year old can pick up the dirty napkins on the table and throw them in the trash without destroying any precious dishes, right? You cannot do it all, and if you do, you will resent your loved ones for not picking up the slack. Let someone else load the dishwasher or if possible fix or bring a side dish.

Control isn't wellness—delegation is. Remember, you don't HAVE to do it all. Remember what Fred Rogers said, "Look for the helpers" and be sure to make them feel welcome.

4. Guard Your Rest

Late-night conversations can be sweet—but not if they leave you depleted. It’s okay to excuse yourself early and get the rest your body needs. And sometimes things said at night in a moment of tiredness or an unguarded moment can linger in a way that isn't healthy. It is best to slow down your day by reading a book, devotional, writing in a journal, or just curling up to some peaceful music to prep for a great night of rest. Protect your rest because you never know when you'll need that extra sleep for the next challenge or crisis.

Closing Thought:

Hospitality is beautiful—but so is your health. When you care for yourself, you're better equipped to care for those you love. And you'll make memories that are lifelong.

Want simple recipes or host hacks? Come back and I'll share my favorites next week!